•Dad Jokes 2019
•1917 Facts!!!
•Cost of Driving an Electr...
•Thomas Jefferson
•Muslim bookstore
•12 different answers
•New United Slogans
•Cell Call at the Club
•miracle
•Please Shut up!
•Dogs Welcome
• DOG OF A ...
•Jenny
•Marriage Humor
•Confession2
•Confession
•A Nun at Hooters
•The Mexican maid
•Cowboy Headstone
•A Bag of $20
•In a Gun Fight
•Rabbi advice
•a man and a shrink
•Owning a Candian
•Oles Testimony
•Texas taxi
•Morning Coffee
•News Article
•Ten years later
•Iranian Air Defense
•Football and the Blonde
•Bending it
•temporary in nature
•The Dot
•The old Pastor
•Two Trees
•Favorite Fast Food
•They Walk Amoug US
•Man bites Dog
•The Generals response
•29 lines
•Crabby Old Man
•Funeral Procession
•Mens Poems
•Brutus the Hero
•Why Parents Drink
•Little Larry
•Liquid Viagra
•Ham Radio Gezer
•Navajo moon
•Hated Parents Words
Title: Dad Jokes 2019
| -- Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine. -- It's okay if your phone autocorrects 'fuck' to 'duck.' You're still using fowl language. -- My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially because his name’s Steve. -- I've just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way. -- I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I don’t know what he laced them with but I was tripping all day. -- Did you hear about the guy who dipped his testicles in glitter? Pretty Nuts! -- What has two butts and kills people? An assassin. -- My stoner friend used my daily agenda notebook to roll up a joint. He is now high on my list of priorities. -- My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard. Personally, I’m on the fence. -- I hate those people who knock on your door and say you need to get 'saved' or you'll 'burn.' Stupid firemen. -- My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body. I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now. -- When two people have sex, its a twosome. When three people have sex, its a threesome. Now I know why people call you handsome. -- My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower. He has serious selfie steam issues." -- I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though. -- A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar He came, he saw, he conquered. -- I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again. -- Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...you need to let that mango." -- My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said, 'Ahh, like making love in a canoe.' When I asked him if it was that good, his smile faded and he said, 'No, it's fucking close to water' and poured it out. -- My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, 'How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?' He winked at me and said, 'I'm off duty in ten minutes — meet me in the car park.' This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet |
