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UsaONE Joke net

Title:   Wife 1.0 Tech Support


> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
> began unexpected child processing that took up
> a lot of space and valuable resources. No
> mention of this phenomenon was included in the
> product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installs itself into all other programs and
> launches during system initialization,
> where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken
> Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of
> my other favorite applications. I am thinking
> about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> uninstall does not work on this program.
> Can you help me, please!!!
> Thanks, A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:
This is a very common problem men complain
about but is mostly due to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run everything. It is unlikely
you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge
the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal
with the situation. I suggest installing
background application program C:\YES DEAR to
alleviate software augmentation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR
because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system
will return to normal. The system will run
smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but
very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0.
-- I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not
a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.

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joke number 75   Current Rating 10


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