Wife 1.0 Tech Support - Its a joke from the UsaOne Joke net

There are 374 jokes.

-Little Larry
-Liquid Viagra
-Little Johnny mortgage
-Ham Radio Gezer
-Geography of a Woman
-Santas bad day
-Little Johnnie
-4 year olds first job
-meanest animal
-Morals
-Californians
-exact change
-Cowboy in Heaven
-Navajo moon
-Hated Parents Words
-Bumper Sticker
-A real cowboy
-Cathloic Parrots
-TEQUILA AND SALT
-One Flaw In Women
-Only in the USA
-Gentle Thoughts
-25 tips for life
-Cyanide
-You are Not!
-THE BOTTLE OF WINE
-Menopause Jewelry
-sticks and stones
-Seven Kinds Of Sex
-Church Service
-Blind Cowboy
-Church Service
-Unbaked Rolls
-CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
-Bob and Millie...
-Are You SMART?
-How Old am I?
-Dear Abby
-blonds
-The Talk
-Quick on his feet
-whats your dad's job?
-The Gay Cowboy
-Boo Dammit Boo!!
-Hungs day off
-Cabby
-high fish
-One Wish
-MIssissippi Lawyers
-Estate Planning
-Texas Sized
-a mans in a bar
-YOUR SISTERS SO UGLY
-Family on a Farm
-My God, You're Ugly
-bird walks into a store
-The other side of smoking...
-Magic Dildo
-Bear, Rabbit, & Genie
-Limping Dog
-pigs joke
-old mother hubbord
-the dumb blonde
-Easter
-What do you call a...
-You Might Be A Redneck If...
-A Bad Wish
-Pet Lobsters
-Buddhist wants his change...
-WVA Garbage Bill
-Potato Garden
-CLASS REUNIONS
-RECTUM STRETCHER
-the duck
-the dog
-trees in the road
-Lexophiles
-Miss Black America
-Arthur and the witch
-GOP lightbulb.
-too short
-Replacement Windows
-garden
-Vegetative State
-Gods Gifts
-Say this
-SIPPING VODKA
-The Popsicle
-preagnat ladies
-Tough Love vs. Spanking
-the squirrel prince
-the rabbi and the sun
-Say What??
-Butlers night out
-man pinches...........
-Blonde Joke
-stairway to heaven
-sunday school
-Terror-iffic Story
-michel jackson noes
-Dhruval's Experience
-ARRGGGG
-Three guys...
-California
-Crossing the border
-Gay barbaque
-ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES
-Blond
-Who let the owl?
-Its dark in Here
-Mexico;no olympic team ?
-After Surgical
-The Canterbury Farmer
-michel jackson
-logic excape
-dumb blonde
-Laywer and Pitbull
-Dirty funny joke
-Man and Penguin
-Dont wait..
-Funny tampon joke
-Dirty JOke
-Computer poem
-some blonds are smart
-Materialistic people
-Christians and Jewelery
-Blue Mountain
-blondes
-heaven or hell
-Real hunk
-Blond Tampon
-The golfing priest
-The pickle slicer
-Scientific beer
-Oral or Anal
-Things to think about
-More Clinton Quickies
-Duck joke
-Guess!!!
-perfect man
-Yo Mamma
-the georgie booger
-got any gwapes
-Pakistani humor
-y shaped casket
-rewriting the alphabet
-The blond at the barber
-blondes are contagious
-ugly!!
-Sick Bucket
-Stupid Blonde
-YO MAMA
-Directions
-YO MAMA........
-canary & fan
-Yo mama so...
-75 things that bite
-two men one thought
-Paying for Beer
-Life Span
-Goldfish
-mammas so fat
-Clean house
-a group of canibals
-Anti-Terrorism
-Turned Down
-Men Jokes
-Learn even more chinese!
-Alhezimers or Parkinsons?...
-NEWs BlonD
-yo mama's fat (& ugly)
-Paddy at War
-Why British wear Red
-Bill Clinton
-i see sex
-old grany???
-New Anti-Terrorism Level
-blonde with the Potatoes
-knock knock
-Blonds Horses
-Gernades
-anti-French remarks
-Red Ring
-A Definite Definition
-It hurts to be FAT!
-British Police Force
-only in America
-PAKISTANI JKE
-blonde
-Blonde
-Bur-Gur-King
-The Three Guys
-Lifesavers
-it's always about women
-two guys dragging legs
-Learn To Speak Chinese
-Woman in a coma
-looking back
-Your mammas so fat...
-Medical Science
-kid + horse
-51 days
-The Wooden Bowl
-Hung Over
-A bird named Chet
-The Code of Men!
-UGLY
-yo sister is so stupid
-yo mamma so fat
-Knock knock
-Yo mamma..........
-whales aboard
-You so fat!
-adam and eve
-blonde joke
-Golf
-BLONDE JOKE
-Chinese detective
-Clean joke dirty joke
-BAD CREDIT
-yo mamma
-Woman and police car
-blondes1
-The cowboy in texas
-Yo mamma so...
-Yo mamas so stupid
-Blonde
-pussy willow
-yo mamma
-Kool Aid
-clean joke ...
-Impossable!
-why farts smell???
-3 guys meeting
-yo mamma so ugly
-Cannibals
-Blondes
-learn chinese in 5 minute...
-Your mamma's so fat.....
-Office Dirt
-old relatives
-Mastercard Moment
-Blonds
-What Company is this?
-Phone Company
-One Liners
-YO MOMMA'S SO STUPID
-Legless Mex
-shit i missed
-the gambling casino
-yo mama
-The implant
-The Wrong Idea
-Your family so poor...
-And one bicyle repairman....
-Did you know?
-Yo mama
-Plastic Surgery!
-POSSIBLE SOFTWARE CONFLIC...
-The 20 Mile Swim (yet ano...
-TEN COMMANDMENTS
-Stages of life
-An Engineers view of Sant...
-Quick thinking dog
-Dog with no legs
-fat mamma and more
-Think You Know Everything...
-If men wrote Cosmopolitan...
-We can get rid of...........
-50 years to learn
-How to kill a West Virgin...
-Heaven or Hell, Bill?
-BEFORE and AFTER MARRIAGE...
-The hypnotist.
-Lesbians
-Cats
-Drink-driving test...
-How to be the boss...
-Kid's and their questions...
-Men Rule...
-QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
-Supreme Court
-Teenage Driver
-Writing on the wall
-Little Johnny & the train...
-40 years of sex
-Eternal arms race
-password entry
-Is the Human Race doomed ...
-Currency Exchange
-STATE SLOGANS
-Bottle of champagne
-S & M Magizine
-Emoticons
-FILTHY LANGUAGE
-The Present
-NEW PROVERBS
-Attention women
-The Well Ain't Free To Pu...
-Wife 1.0 Tech Support
-Doctors vs Guns
-SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT......
-DUI
-Insight
-Top 10 things that men un...
-LUST VS LOVE VS MARRIAGE
-Latest data from China re...
-Automobiles from Microsof...
-Dr. Seuss explains why co...
-The Gold Box
-YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO ...
-Good come Backs
-Mary Poppins
-Daddys home
-Period
-Thoughts
-Guiness records
-Terminal sex
-Blond crime victim
-Junior Firefighter
-Serenety
-I want a divorce
-Airline Complaint
-Judge Not - Lest You Make...
-Q and A
-Another golf story
-Sex & death
-Alcohol Warning
-Horse and Chicken
-Truck Driver VS Lawyers
-Point System for Men
-English is a Crazy Langua...
-I think Santa is a woman!...
-Tennis Ball
-Truisms
-You Might Be a Redneck if...
-Excuse Notes
-How do I look?
-Careful what you wish for...
-Work or Prison
-Only in America
-Come-on Responces
-Nervous Priest
-She Told Him So
-THE Y"Zero"K Proble...
-Parents prayer
-Marion Barry Quotes
-Ken Starr
-Cigar Insurance
-Men and Women dating
-Al and Bill
-Hokey Pokey
-Country Western song titl...
-Men and Women
-Standards live forever
-Jesse Ventura top 10
-Three convicts
-My Shinning Moment
-Timberland
-Fishing
-Turbulence
-One liners...more or less...
-Little Johnny - Smoking
-Ballad - Bobbit Hillbilli...
-Cannibals
-Champagne
-Top 12 - Tech Support
-List of Orgasms
-Creative Writing
-Texan in Australia
-Early bird get the worm
-Guinness beer
-New Elements in Periodic ...
-The wedding night

UsaONE Joke net

Title: Wife 1.0 Tech Support

> Dear Tech Support:
> Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to
> Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program
> began unexpected child processing that took up
> a lot of space and valuable resources. No
> mention of this phenomenon was included in the
> product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0
> installs itself into all other programs and
> launches during system initialization,
> where it monitors all other system activity.
> Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken
> Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no
> longer run, crashing the system whenever
> selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
> the background while attempting to run some of
> my other favorite applications. I am thinking
> about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the
> uninstall does not work on this program.
> Can you help me, please!!!
> Thanks, A TROUBLED USER

Dear TROUBLED USER:
This is a very common problem men complain
about but is mostly due to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from
Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea
that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an
OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its
creator to run everything. It is unlikely
you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating files within your system
would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate
Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge
the program files from the system once
installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend
7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do
this. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than the original system.
Look in your manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal
with the situation. I suggest installing
background application program C:\YES DEAR to
alleviate software augmentation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest
you read the entire section regarding General
Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that
might occur, regardless of their cause.
The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR
because ultimately you will have to give
the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system
will return to normal. The system will run
smoothly as long as you take the blame for all
the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but
very high maintenance.
Consider buying additional software to improve
the performance of Wife 1.0.
-- I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.
Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not
a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
likely to cause irreversible damage to the
operating system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support.

This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet

joke number 75 Current Rating 10