•Dog Food
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• DOG OF A ...
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Title: An Engineers view of Santa Claus
| I know this joke is already on there, but there are many forms of it. They should be combined....Here is a good addition to it... ---------------------------------- This inquiry is based on the premise that there is only ONE Santa Claus. The calculations work out more realistically if you assume some form of parallel processing. A thousand Santas (1 kilosanta) or a million (a megasanta) or more, working in parallel, could perform the same number of visits in the same allotted time with less advanced technology (and fewer vaporized reindeer). Santa is NOT dead. He is distributed. ---------------------------------- So *that's* why we see a Santa on every street corner... One question: who does the air traffic control for a megasanta? A million sleighs and 12 million reindeer occupy a significant amount of airspace. If we assume that each reindeer team, sleigh and Santa needs no more than 5 feet of vertical airspace (which, given that known species of reindeer with antlers are quite nearly five feet tall, leaves very little room for error), then a megasanta requires almost 947 *miles* of vertical airspace. This also disregards the fact that each Santa must make frequent landings. The airspace at chimney level will be in high demand and disproportionately crowded, particularly as Christmas- celebrating households tend to be densely clustered in the same geographic areas. It seems likely that a megasanta, while perhaps avoiding vaporized reindeer, would suffer huge casualties from in-air collisions. Even distributed, Santa *is* dead, or at least suffers heavy casualties. -------------------------------------------------------- Of course, if Santa was in fact a vast, hyperintelligent pan-dimensional creature with unimaginable power to bend space and time, whose physical manifestation in our universe was a rather rotund jolly gentleman in a furry red romper suit, he would not have to bother with all that troublesome traveling around and climbing down chimneys and the like. He could in effect appear to be in many places at once, leaving him more time to concentrate on ho-hoing, giving presents and eating mince pies. We are in reality looking at multiple Santas who are in fact all one Santa seen at different points in his space-time continuum, which is distorted and folded many millions of times to intersect with ours in many different places at simultaneous times. Actually, Rudolph and the other reindeers and the whole sledge thing are just for show, to keep up the story........ Santa is not dead, nor does the concept of 'death' as we experience it even mean anything to one such as he..... Merry Christmas! This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet |
