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UsaONE Joke net|
Title: YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...
joke number 64 Current Rating 10
|YOU KNOW YOU'RE A LATINO IF...|
- You have ever been spanked with chanclas.
- You have later been spanked with the plancha chord.
- You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas on the linoleum floor.
- Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.
- You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.
- You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.
- You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii".
- You gone to the Pulga every weekend for years. Two points if you actually enjoy it!)
- You have gone to Tia's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the living room.
- You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, Buddha or elephant in your livingroom.
- You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
- You swear "Choco Mil" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.
- You have a perpetually drunk uncle
- You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo, Juan, Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis.
- You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.
- You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager.
- You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
- You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.
- You drink all beer with limon and salt. (Two extra points for a splash of Tapatio)
- You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca: who's bigger than a house.
- You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.
- You know a chola named "La Shy Girl" who is loud and obnoxious.
- You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.
- You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.
- You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point if one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe).
- You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst."
- You drive a Cheby- (Chevy), an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon (VolksWagon)
- You call your sneakers -tenis- .
- Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.
And last, but not least...
- Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything.
This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet