1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work ... more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're
talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
18. Your pals can be trusted never to ask you, "So,
notice anything different?"
19. One mood, ALL the damn time.
20. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
23. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
24. You can go to a public toilet without a support
25. You can leave the motel bed unmade.
26. You get extra credit for the slightest act of
27. If someone forgets to invite you to something, you
can still be friends.
28. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
29. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
30. Everything on your face stays its original color.
31. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the
32. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
33. You don't have to clean your apartment if the
meter reader is coming.
34. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for
hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
35. No maxi-pads.
36. You don't mooch off other's desserts.
37. You can drop by to see a friend without having to
bring a little gift.
38. If another guy shows up at the party in the same
outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
39. You are not expected to know the names of more
than five colors.
40. You don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt.
41. You almost never have strap problems in public.
42. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
43. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
44. You don't have to shave below your neck.
45. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
46. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all
47. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
48. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
49. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25
relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
50. The world is your urinal.
This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet