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Title:   Real hunk


The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man
should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by
chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the
doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. I've come to......"

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,"
Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've
made a speciality of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come
in and have a seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we
start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the
bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun
too....you can really spread out!"

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
> for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions
and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll
be pleased with the results."

"My, my, that's a lot of ..! ! ." gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd
be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered. The
photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures.

"This was done on the top of a bus."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her
handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work
with."

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the
park to get the job done right. People were crowding
around four and five deep, pushing to get a good
look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened
> in amazement.

> "Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three
hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling - I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness
approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when
the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just
packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually
chewed on your um...equipment ?"

"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set
up my tripod so that we can get to work"

"Tripod??

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
> It's much too big for me to hold very long. Madam?
Madam?...

..Good Lord, she's fainted!!

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joke number 107   Current Rating 10


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